Now I'm degree student. Not diploma student. So I need to motivate myself to be independent, diligent and strong physical and mental. First day, as usual, unpacking clothes and stuff. I got ground floor's room. At first I feel happy because every semester in diploma, I only got rooms upstairs. But just for a few moment I realized that I'm wrong. Even though I got ground floor, I still need to use stairs to get there T_T.
|Room for 6 people|
|Stairs that I always use|
Monday...I feel quite nervous and scare because it's my first time to faculty. Alhamdulillah I have friends from UiTM Perak who also got here. We need to climb a hill to go there. Not a high hill but a small one. My friends call it 'Bukit Tonggek'?. My legs feels tired and exhausted. I can see the faculty from here...
|Faculty Art & Design|
|View from top of Fine Art Department|
|Just snap the scene|
|Inside the pink building|
Next day as usual. Attending class and so on. I feel scare for tomorrow interview. We need to prepare a proposal but since I don't bring any artwork, I just prepare with softcopy.
It is time for interview. There are 4 lecture that would interview us. All male and more importantly we don't know their name. Only who applied for painting would need to interview. They call one by one....Scary !!!
My friends got it. Now it's me. I show them.......They not really satisfied with my artwork because most of my artwork at average level. Not like my other friends. They suggest me applied for ceramic because I had a basic of ceramic and they scare that I cannot catch up with others if I applied for painting. Then they told me to wait until all the interview finish. Other friend, Kak.... also same same with me, need to wait but her case is different. She wants to applied painting but they told her that her skill is printmaking. The interview is finish and told some of us(who need to wait) included me to gathering. They discuss among themselves and a few minutes later, call us one by one. Kak... success getting painting for major then my name is called. When I entering, my eyes feel like a pool of water but I bear it from fall. They discuss with me whether I'm applied for painting, sculpture, or fine art ceramic. I said if I don't get painting, I will applied for printmaking but they said printmaking is full. I silent.....Then I said I will try on fine art ceramic. I got out and meet my friends. Told them I doesn't get and choose fine art ceramic. I don't cry but I smile instead. I talking like usual with them.
As soon as I arrived at my room. My face change. I cry silently. I cry.... but not because I doesn't get it. It is because that now I realized that I'm at different level with my friends. Only now I realized that I'm not skilled enough to be with them. I confused why I get here instead Perak? It's because of my pointer? But why?
I'm praying and thinking for a moment. This is my way. This is my road to be strong. This is destiny. I will fight for it. I know my weakness, thank you Allah SWT to show me and make me not to lost my way. I will overcome and struggle my weakness. Practice make perfect..Thank you